Lacking Comfort

Posted on February 5, 2011 | Leave a comment

Isn’t winter the season of comfort? Comfort foods. Comfortable clothing. Just comfort? I can’t help but feel like I’ve spent this season out of my comfort zone. I feel like I have no familiarity and not knowing what’s going to happen in the next day, week, month is starting to get to me. For years, I’ve been working towards short and long-term goals but being out of full-time work, an apartment, the works, I feel it’s difficult to set goals until I become a bit more committed to the path I’m on.

I’m in a position in which I’m able to do whatever I want and while I’ve got a few ideas and am working on a few things, I haven’t fully committed to one path. There is so much I can do, why not try for all and see what I’m meant to get in to? Right?

I initially started this post with, “whhhhhaaaaaa”. While I’m not in tears about the state of my life, I am thinking about what I’m doing, why I’m here and what I’m supposed to do. It was just yesterday, I found myself on the side of a country road, on the verge of tears, whining about how I want my life back. I’m in this transitional state and it’s killing me. I want things to happen, I want to move on with my life (or rather, start my new one), I had carved out a nice little life for myself since moving out of my parents place a few years ago and while I pretty much abandoned everything I had in the past few months, it was all for the right reasons. I think.

I find myself wondering if I have a problem, I know I’m an anti-hoarder. I purge. Not in the binge and purge sense, but I don’t have sentimental attachments to anything and I worry that when I’m on a purging spree, I can’t stop. Basically, I’m at the point that I’m concerned about the state of my purging habit. I need to stop removing things from my life, get out of this transition, shed my cold Eastern European shell and start adding to my life again.

Until I find something I’m happy to make a part of my life, I will continue to bake. Which I’ve been doing a lot of lately. Baka even likes to watch and comment on how I take after her with all the baking I’ve been doing, yet she still won’t share any recipes with me. Seriously? Seriously. I have a new Baka photo to share, while I wish having these photos up will shame her into passing along these heirloom recipes, she has no idea what the internet is. Or a cell phone for that matter. This is Baka over the holidays, likely after I asked her which of the grandchildren is her favourite (my brother, Jure, first born grandson, obviously).

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Posted in cat, Life, Uncategorized

Making Whoopie

Posted on January 30, 2011 | Leave a comment

Had the opportunity to try a whoopie pie at Bobbette & Belle in Leslieville. I was drawn into the cafe by their macarons but have yet to sample one, the whoopie pies were just so light and fluffy looking. I’d be pleased to just sit in this cafe with a cup of tea and I assure you, I would leave full after just looking at the wedding cakes and pastries they bake up fresh here – total visual orgasm.

Treated myself to the red velvet whoopie, so, so good. It reminded me of the recipe from whoopie pies I had torn out of an issue of Toronto Life a few months back and have yet to test out. Will do so in the next couple weeks. Old roomie has shacked up with BF and has asked for baking lessons as she’d like to become a bit more domesticated. I will come bearing her housewarming gift – baking cookbooks, every ingredient necessary to make whoopies and a few other goodies.

Off to make whoopie.

That sounds dirty.

Crap. It is.

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Posted in baking, food

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Most Anticipated Reunion

Posted on January 19, 2011 | Leave a comment

And no, it’s not more about BSB. This one’s legit. The 2011 Coachella lineup was announced last night and although at first, I was like, “yeah great bands, awesome show,” it wasn’t until I got to Day 3 where I was like, “Holy crap! I have to go! Where do I get a ticket! Expletive! More exclamation marks! Holy crap!”

Which band could have this effect on me? Death from Above 1979. I’ve only seen them as a unit once and then doing their own separate acts multiple times. I love them. They’re musical geniuses. And I may or may not have in appropriately caressed JFK’s foot one night at a bar – he was wearing ostrich skin DFA special edition Puma’s, come on.

While I enjoyed MSTRKRFT, I wasn’t entirely sold on Sebastien Grainger & the Mountains. These 2 just worked better as a unit and this is why I am beyond thrilled that they’re back together.

For real. I love them this much:

That's quite a lot of love

This was at the Toys ‘r Us in Times Square, we seriously spread the word around Legoland that DFA is where it’s at.

So, now what? Get a full-time job so I could pay for this sucker.

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I Want Ray Ban Vision

Posted on January 14, 2011 | Leave a comment

I’ve rewritten the words to the song below, it’s a bit sad though. I lost my Ray Ban vision. Sort of.

I tried to recreate the scene in my front yard.

Was driving to work earlier this week, it was gloomy, the sun was just dying to come out, so I brought my Wayfarers with me. It seemed silly to wear them at the time, so I put them under my leg – to keep them warm. Have you ever tried to put on a pair of glasses after they’ve been sitting in a cold car? Fogged up lenses, frosted over at times. No good.

Anyways, on my way in to work that morning, I found myself with some extra time, I stopped by Cherry Bomb to pick up some coffees for me and my boss. It wasn’t until I was parking my car that I realize my sunglasses were no longer with me.

Not being ironic. I swear.

I knew immediately what had happened, it’s happened before with my phone, my access cards, etc. (I should really stop putting things beneath my legs when I’m driving). My sunglasses fell out of the car when I got out to grab coffees. Insert 10 expletives. I popped my head into the shop, dropped off the coffees and drove back (for a moment, I thought they were my prescription sunglasses….eeek).

Really, I should be happy I found them, but they were in a terrible state. The lenses were cracked and my poor glasses were flattened beneath a tire. (fyi… Nissan Altima, that was a no parking zone.) (Yes, that note applies to me, as well.)

Anyways, super boss observed the damage and since he has a bit of background in eye wear he told me they may be able to be salvaged. I’m heading over to see what can be done, fortunate I didn’t spring for the classic Wayfarers when I purchased my prescription pair last summer – that means I’ve got a spare set of lenses on hand. Rejoice!!!

Side note: Can I just tell you how my mindset has shifted? Normally, I’d be like, “no biggie! Now I can upgrade to the classic Wayfarers in tortoiseshell with polarized lenses.” Now, now, dear goodness, now my first thought was, “how do I fix this?”. That is what unemployment does to you folks, pinching my pennies resourceful.

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Guilty Pleasures

Posted on January 4, 2011 | 3 Comments

Was reading Simone’s blog earlier this week, in which she shared her 3 guilty pleasures (food, music, dinner date). It inspired me to share my own.

1. (food) Dominos Brooklyn Pizza:

I don’t know what it is about this pizza, the grease, the sauce, the fact that it tastes exactly the same every time I’ve had it, but I drool at the very thought of it. I never had Dominos growing up and I recall when I first moved out on my own, Roomie and I spent the year trying to find the tastiest pizza. This one took the cake. I may or may not have Dominos programmed into my iPhone contacts.

2. (music) It’s a tie – Ke$ha and Glee cast:

I mean, she’s a hot mess, how can you not like her? And really, you know I’m going to love a song that includes the lyrics “glitter on the floor” and samples a favourite childhood song “In the land of Oz where the ladies don’t wear bras”. And do not get me started on how much I love the glitter/coloured powder part of the video above.

Glee. You know, I really couldn’t stand this show during it’s first season. I really wanted to like it, but I just couldn’t get into it. Season 2 totally turned it around for me, I’m officially addicted. I’ve been buying the songs off iTunes and I was struggling with deciding which clip to include in this post, there are so many good ones. Teenage Dream, Forget You, Hey, Soul Sister, and I honestly have at least 15 more favourites from this season I’m just struggling in finding a decent clip. So good.

3. (dinner date) Anthony Bourdain

I struggled with this one, I couldn’t think of anyone I was shy to admit I wanted to have dins with (perhaps I should have mentioned a current crush, but there’s no sharing that with anyone). I felt that everyone who came to mind were completely obvious, who wouldn’t want to have dinner with Anthony Bourdain? I guess I shouldn’t admit this, but the first reason I want to have dinner with him is because I think he’s totally hot and then I’d like to talk food with him. Plus, can you imagine how delicious it’d be? I have yet to see him eat something on No Reservations that makes me cringe and not set off a rumbly in my tumbly.

There you have it. My guilty pleasures, what are yours?

p.s. Thanks for the idea, Simone!

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Posted in Just For Fun

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Au Revoir, 2010

Posted on January 4, 2011 | Leave a comment

A little visual rundown of the year that was, 2010:

I ran my first race!

I found this video and still die laughing at even just the thought of it

I went to Boston, attended the 2010 season’s opening day game vs. the Yankees. I wish Toronto was like this on game day.

It was a full house AND Neil Diamond was there to sing, “Sweet Caroline”, like in Fever Pitch.

I was originally looking to link the scene from Fever Pitch passively when I first mentioned the movie, but upon doing a quick YouTube search, I found this one instead and decided to give it an actual spot in this post to honour my eastern euro roots (I swear I hear an Eastern European accent in there).

Boston is also where I rekindled my romance with luscious, red lips.

I got in touch with my creative side and took a silversmith class at The Devil’s Workshop. Where I made this Twitter-esque necklace:

I quit my job (this was the morning of).

I went to British Columbia and fell in love (with the mountains).

You know, that vacation was exactly what I needed at that time. I had the opportunity to do a lot of thinking on my own that trip, to reaffirm my decision to leave my full-time job and reflect on a few other issues that had been bugging me lately. I like to think it’s where I started working on my fresh start. The crappy thing is, the memory card for our camera was messed, we didn’t know it and all of the photos we took were not retrievable – le sigh. So all I have are some I took with my iPhone.

I love to take photos while I’m eating, it’s super classy and clearly at my most attractive.

I flew in a mini airplane for the first time, ever. So exciting. So loud. So cramped. I even managed to nearly knock myself unconscious boarding the place – as I was making a joke about banging my head upon boarding.

I knocked 2 items off my bucket list. Danced on stage while a band performed and danced with a life-sized man hotdog. All at the same time.

And while several other life-changing things have happened, they’re still in the works, so I’m not ready to share, just yet. Hope you all had a great year and are excited to tackle 2011! xo.

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I’m a Year Older, y’know

Posted on December 29, 2010 | Leave a comment

A belated Merry Hoho to all of you. I’m just getting over a nasty illness, so (fortunately) I did not overeat.

I celebrated a birthday a couple of weeks ago. Amid all of the holiday hubub my friends made time to celebrate – because we all knew I sure as heck wasn’t planning anything. I hate having to compete with baby Jesus. For real. Christmas parties book up every weekend, I just don’t want to do it. Although, some years, I find myself wishing I was more important than Jesus’ birth… just give me one year. (I immediately take this back, good ol’ Catholic guilt is on high alert.)

Anyways, two of my besties took me out on my actual birthday. I had planned a nice day to myself, which, too be honest, I was really looking forward to. I had a spa day scheduled at my favourite spa in Collingwood and was going to spend the night in the village at Blue and head out to board a bit the next morning. Unfortunately, I got a call the morning of (which woke me up, by the way) to inform me that the roads into Collingwood were closed and they were closing up for the day due to inclement weather. Seriously. What. The. Eff. I wanted this so badly. So, after some tears and stomps, I picked myself up and went on with my day aka I went to work. Post-work, friends took me for dinner and drinks. It was so nice. They’re special and i wish everyone had friends like these.

We got to the bar after dinner and I ordered what I consider to be the most obvious winter drink (please, please sense my sarcasm): sangria. And made an attempt to take a somewhat artsy photo of my glass. While I did not eat the flower, I thought it looked quite pretty.

The next weekend, a friend was having a dinner party and the sneaky bugger, got my a special dessert cupcake and they even sang me happy birthday.

So, a year older. What came of it? Hrm. A lot, I guess. I’ve learned a lot. Grown more than I could imagine. And have learned how to stand up for myself. I’ve learned it’s ok to do what I want sometimes and that I don’t always need to please people. What a novel concept.

I think I’m finally understanding the concept of happiness. Being happy. Living a happy life. And doing what’s right for me. And I really like it. While 2010 has been my most challenging year to-date, I also think it’s been one of the best years. Because amid all of the awful things I had gone through, there were a lot of good times, too. I’ve met a lot more people and put myself in situations where I feel vulnerable and uncomfortable and come out fine. I’ve learned how to enjoy time alone, in public. And while I’ve already mentioned it, I think the most valuable lesson I’ve learned this year is how to be happy and I am so grateful for it. Often times, I think we all think we’re generally happy, but are we? Really?

I’ve stripped my life of everything I had in January 2010. Job. Apartment. Boyfriend. Even cat (although I will be getting her back once I find myself a new apartment). And while this transition was a total shock to my daily routine, I’m so grateful for it. Without it, I wouldn’t have known true happiness. And while, I’m still grieving over the loss of the person I thought and was planning on spending the rest of my life with, I’ve walked out of that relationship learning several lessons. And really, can I say it was a waste of time? Definitely not. I had some of the best times of my life with this guy. I also had some of the worst, but I think that’s inevitable when you spend nearly all your time with this person.

So, yes, I guess I’ve closed this chapter of my life. Moved on from a lot of things and looking forward to what’s to come. It’s like I’m getting to start over again. Except I’m not 19. I’m dressed better, a bit smarter and more confident – so this second go-around should work out fine.

Happy Birthday to me!

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I Don’t Want to Love You

Posted on December 15, 2010 | Leave a comment

But I do. My ugly, gross, stinky, salt-covered boots. You look terrible on my feet and I was ready to throw you away but winter hit fast yesterday. My other boots were still packed away and you were sitting in the hallway ready to have my foot tucked in.

“I just have to run out to the car quickly,” I thought. “I’ll just throw these on.”

On you went, ugly boots. And when I came back in, I took you off and felt an instant rush of cool air on my feet. Do. Not. Like. I threw my slippers aside and put you back on. And I wasn’t able to take you off. Even when safe and warm inside my house.

I hate that I love you. This relationship is strictly function over fashion and it’s not going anywhere else.

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Posted in Just For Fun

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How Often is too Often?

Posted on December 10, 2010 | Leave a comment

I get it. It’s Christmas. Companies are trying to get my to buy gifts for family and friends and sometimes I feel, more often than not, myself as well. I’ve signed up for quite a few newsletters and promotional offers through companies I’ve approved (I used to work in direct mail so I know all of your secrets, youwill not make money off selling my information Company xyz). I like to be in the know when Banana Republic is having a 3 hour sale – 40% off dresses and getting Holiday Baking tips from the Food Network but my inbox has been bombarded lately. Like, seriously, I’m starting to get annoyed.

Perhaps I’m irritated because I no longer work in an office and am not necessarily in front of a computer all day, welcoming any and all distractions. I’m actually busier than I was when I had a full-time job (odd, eh?). I really don’t think I’d be writing this post if I were still a 9-5er.

Have you noticed the increase in promotional emails lately? Do you wish you could get the satisfaction of crumpling up or tearing the paper like you do with snail mail junk mail? Hitting the delete key just doesn’t give me the same satisfaction. Le sigh.

 

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Heartbroken

Posted on December 8, 2010 | 2 Comments

Without giving away too many details, here’s what’s happened in the past few months. S and I are no longer… for a few months now. I couldn’t find an apartment in time to move out, so I had to temporarily move back home with my parents (whomp. whomp).

Now here’s the heartbreak. Penny was not welcome at my parents’ place. I had put up a fight to have my little furball come home with me, however, my Dad is very set in his ways and knows little Peeps would rule the house – he does not like that. The kicker in all of this is that my family has a cat, Kelsey. She’s kinda broken, as in she drools whenever you pet her. It’s gross. And weird. Kelsey also knows that my Dad does not care for animals as pets, only as workers and food. Ugh.

Fortunately, I have an amazing friend who’s offered to care for my little Penny until I get things sorted and someone moves out of the building I’m waiting on (picky, much?). The first night I dropped her off, she totally took over the place, was into everything and did not hide. She loved it. And she still loved me.

About a week had gone by between my first visit and last. I was so excited to see my little chicken last week. I was hoping she’d feel the same. I was wrong. Cat daughter is extremely upset with me. She attacked me. Even hissed (I’ve only ever heard this happen once before). Then went over to her new (temporary) mom, lay on her lap and purred. Then glanced over at me with disgust.

Heartbreak. She better not be behaving this way when I claim her. I’m looking forward to seeing her again. Next time, I’ll bring presents – like that guilty ex-parent who only sees his/her children on chaperoned visits. Meow. And now, perhaps a moment of silence for me and my cat daughter? Here’s hoping things with her get back to normal.

 

 

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Posted in cat, Life

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